Purpose Review: How to choose the right mate or date

How To Choose the Right Mate/Date

When it comes to settling down, there are so many nuances that fuel the decision of choosing the “right” person to do life with. From children, to careers, religious views and political, when you are in the flow of finding your good thing, things won’t be as easy as it is to go to the drive through and pick off the toppings you do not want. We are talking about your life here; and every decision you make or do not make influences the quality of life you will have. This is why it is important to put a lot of focus and intent into making the right decision in choosing who you date or who you choose to be your mate be it long term or seasonal.

When dating, you need to take into account these three things:

1. Focus on what is permanent not temporary.

Let’s be real. Looks fade. Money is gained and lost. People grow, they mature and they change. The bottom line is this: who you get today may not be the same person ten years from now. This is why when you are looking for someone to do like with, you have to be more focused on the intangibles. What is their character like? Do they fold under pressure? Do they love you today and hate you tomorrow? What are their spiritual beliefs? Do they want children? Do YOU want children? All of these things and more need to be considered.

Now if you’re just dating, these things may not be a big deal. But, the great thing about finding love is that it often sneaks up on you when you least expect it. So, it’s better to be prepared by knowing who you are and what you want. This way, where the “right” person comes along, you’re not trying to figure everything out.

2. Be effective in communication.

One of the biggest killers of relationships in general is a lack of effective communication. Many times we as people speak to be heard and we don’t listen to understand. And that’s where the issue lies. While on your quest to choose “right,” you have to be aware of your communication strengths and weaknesses. Are you a great listener or do you listen to figure out where you can interject your message? Do you read body language well? Are you quick to shut down when the conversation isn’t going your way? Ask yourself where you can improve your communication skills. Being able to work through situations both good and bad due to effective communication will help tremendously.

3. Make sure you can the good and bad parts of your mate.

You are not going to love everything your mate says or does. Most days you’ll love their quirks and other days, you’ll want to pull your hair out. Well, this is where you have to put your long-term goals and effective communication plan to work. When you choose to share your life with another human being, you are choosing to accept all parts of them just like they are choosing to accept all parts of you. Some things you’ll pick up on from day one, others may not be noticed until they are triggered. Either way, you have to accept the good with the bad. This doesn’t mean settle for things that are disrespectful or do not line up with your personal standards and values; but it doesn’t mean that you have to be willing to work through things and not quit when things are uncomfortable.

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